Have you ever looked back at your teenage and early adult years and thought about what it would be like to have a conversation with younger you? Let her know what will work out and what wont; what chances would be worth the risk; when her heart will be broken and when she will fall in love; teach her to worry less about what she can't control and take advantage of opportunities right in front of her face. As my 27th birthday approaches, I cant help but think back to 10 years ago as I was turning 17, getting ready to start my senior year of high school. Then 5 years later, turning 22 and moving away from home for the first time. So after listening to Brad Paisley's letter to himself, I decided to write my own. While part of me wants to jump straight to the face palm, don't be this stupid moments, the other part of me wants to tell you how proud I am of who you are.
Dear Kolbie,
Welcome to your senior year! You've probably just started to realize how quickly life goes by. And I know, you're sooo over high school... but here's a little secret, these are some of the best years and memories of your life. Those four years will teach you lessons that will guide you into the adult world. Even though you won't know how to cook, go to the post office, balance a check book or remember to change the oil in your car on time, there's a few lessons that will stick with you forever. Don't try to move too fast. Let me give you an inside look of how your life will go over the next 10 years.
Right now you have seven girls that you consider your "your girls". You are all in the same classes, very involved with social clubs and sports, some with boyfriends, some without. You've planned your senior skip days, all your school dance themes and decorated your senior crowns together. By the time you finish your associates degree you will only have three of these girls still heavily involved in your life. It happens, people grow apart, go off to college and eventually lose contact. You will still follow each other on Instagram, go to their weddings and watch them become mothers. After graduating nursing school, you will only have two of those girls left standing by your side and all three of you live in different states. Life is weird, it's complicated and it's emotional. But just remember, when a "friend"shows their true colors once, let them go. I don't mean you get in an argument over a he said , she said. I mean when a friend shows you that you're not a priority, that your opinions and feelings are wrong, when you're not the shiny new friend anymore, it might be a sign that they don't belong in your future.
Back to the statement regarding boyfriends, don't worry, you're still head over heels for that high school sweetheart of yours right now. But he's going to break your heart when you head off to college. Even though you decided against going off to FSU to stay with him; he's going to hurt you. The pain you'll feel is astronomical. I remember. But some of your greatest adventures start where this chapter ended. You'll stay single for a while while you choose a career path. You've had a plan this whole time to be a big wig Pharmacist, but God shut that door and opened the world of pediatric oncology nursing. That door didn't simply open up an incredible career for you, it will bring opportunities you never dreamed of, friendships that make you forget what life was like before them and take you on adventures away from home.The next boy you fall for will ask you to marry him. and you'll say yes. At 20 years old you will sit down at the kitchen table with him and your Momma and set a date. But from the moment you said yes, your heart will scream he isn't the one. He will eventually belong to someone else. So you have to break his heart, in turn breaking yours. I want to tell you how proud I am of you for listening to your gut, and following God's plan for you. It was a hard decision. You were worried about what people would think of you, what would your next step be, would you still be able to be married by 25 like you planned? ( LOL- we will get to this) But you did it all with dignity- even though sometimes it was far from easy. There will be others- boyfriends, dates, feelings. Some will make you feel like you've lost your mind, you'll piss them off, they'll lead you on, you'll cut them off. But each one is important. They will teach you how to love, be patient, apologize even if you don't think its your fault, swallow your pride and how to communicate effectively (this means without every conversation turning into a screaming match).
I know right now you can't imagine being on the losing side of 30, but let me share some lessons I've learned over the last ten years.
Don't worry what others think about you. There are going to be people who want to watch you fail. Even people you thought were your friends and family. Chase your crazy dreams. Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.
Call your grandparents. They don't live forever, and all they want are updates on your life, why you're not married yet and when you're coming to see them. It will make their day to hear your voice.
Create a goal and go for it. Don't let others get in your way. Don't change your path for a boy. Don't change your career because of a bad college professor. Don't make yourself small because someone else is intimidated by you.
You are NOT overweight. For the love of God, please enjoy being able to drink mountain dew and eat cheesecake for breakfast while your body is still on your side. 10 years later, if you even look at that cheesecake, you better start shopping for new jeans. But keep in mind, your body does not define you. If you are healthy and living your best life, you enjoy every bite!
Don't carry old baggage into a new relationship. Now, by no means do I mean let your guard down for just anyone, but give chances, let a man spoil you every now and then, be open- minded and patient and be up front with your emotions. A real man, the right man, will understand you and love you despite your flaws.
Save your money. Don't be a prude, but build a savings. One day, you're going to have such a strong desire to see more of the world than your own backyard. You will want to go to a concert that's a bit pricey. You will want to redo your home decor and treat your loved ones to a big birthday celebration. Shop clearance, think twice about those shoes you may or may not need, skip the drive through and eat at home. Thank me later.
Doubt is normal. You're going to question a lot of your decisions. Thanks to anxiety, you're going to question them for way longer than you should. But that's OK. Trust God, your gut and your Daddy's advice and you will make the right decisions.
Quality > Quantity. You think having a big friend group right now is the best thing in the world. There's always something to do and someone to do it with. Eventually you will find that smaller tribes can have benefits too. True friends that you can share your life events with is so powerful. Not everyone is going to like you, but the ones that do will have your back through it all.
Argue less and listen more. You don't always have to have the last word. Sure it may be satisfying at the time, but its not necessary. If you want to argue, go to law school.
Life is too short to wait. DO NOT put your goals on hold for anyone. DO NOT be afraid of making a huge life change. DO NOT think "I'm just not ready". You are absolutely, 100%, not promised tomorrow, so do it today. Stop saying no so much, coming up with excuses and backing out of plans. Start saying yes and enjoy the life you've made for yourself.
With that said, enjoy being young. Use is as an excuse. Ask forgiveness and not permission. I'll write back in 10 years.
xo,
Kolbie
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